Yes Ruby, there is a Santa Claus

Nine-year-old Ruby England, right, is writing a letter to columnist Kris Meltzer, while her sister, 6-year-old Evan England, is writing to Santa Claus.

Dear readers,

Here at TSN, we have been busy sorting all of the children’s letters to Santa. Among the many letters to Santa was an envelope addressed to Kris. It appeared to have been addressed by a child and I initially thought that it was one of Santa’s letters due to the fact that Santa is also known as Kris Kringle. However, upon opening the envelope, I was surprised to discover that it was a letter to me from a little girl by the name of Ruby England.

Remembering how those sneaky fraternity boys were always fooling Ann Landers with fake letters, I suspected it was a prank. The Waldron postmark made me suspect Royal Coxswain Jack Yeend. However, on close inspection, it certainly appeared to have been written by a child. I looked up the return address and with a little shoe leather and old fashioned investigative journalism, I determined that the letter was authentic.

Ruby England had heard some disturbing news, and she wanted my help ferreting out the truth. I certainly wasn’t going to let this little girl down. Here is her letter and my response. Enjoy.

Dear Kris,

My name is Ruby England and I am 9 years old. I overheard some grownups say that there is no Santa Claus. My grandpa, Bruce Everhart, always says, “If you see it in ‘The View From My Schwinn’ it’s so.”

Please tell me the truth. Is there a Santa Claus?

Sincerely,

Ruby England

Dear Ruby,

When I read your letter, I thought that I heard the music from the “Twilight Zone” playing very faintly in the distance.

You see, in 1897 a little girl by the name of Virginia O’Hanlon wrote to the editor of the New York Sun and asked the same question.

Unfortunately for that little girl, all she got was a rambling answer full of metaphors. The editor droned on and on about love, generosity, devotion, and faith. According to The Sun, Santa Claus was a similar intangible that exists in the hearts of children.

Ruby, fear not. I won’t leave you, like poor little Virginia, without a straight answer to your question. First of all, don’t believe everything that adults say.

Remember just because someone is old doesn’t necessarily make them smart. Adults are the ones who buy Hair-in-a-Can and watch infomercials. Adults fall for every gimmick that claims to make them look younger. Adults are the ones who have a garage attached to their house, but can’t park the car in it due to it being filled with junk they purchased at yard sales.

Secondly, I know there is a Santa Claus by direct observation. Over the years, Santa has been very good to me. Santa brought me a train set, a super ball and several toys made by Mattel and that was just last year. Santa brought me a sled over 50 years ago and it still works fine.

Not wanting to just rely on my own experience, I decided to do a little time traveling. I put on my linoleum eye shade, lit my kerosene lamp and headed down to the archives. TSN has been forwarding letters to Santa for a great number of years and we always keep a copy. I found a 1963 letter from a 5-year-old boy named Todd Sexton who asked Santa for a bicycle, Jimmy Jet, and fireman costume.

When I got back to my desk, I did a little research, located Todd and gave him a call. He reported that in 1963 Santa came through with everything he had requested.

Receiving everything taught Todd two very important facts; there is a Santa Claus and even better, Santa doesn’t always check his list twice.