Thanksgiving will no doubt be different this year. I know there will be less weight gain at the Wolfsies’ because Mary Ellen is requiring that we put on our mask between every bite. That will slow down the time to consume the meal, which, according to my wife, results in less food intake. This is why I try to hide her holiday editions of Prevention magazine.

Despite the pandemic, every morning the TV shows will have a nutritional expert advising us how to cut down our T-day meal from 5,000 calories to a mere 4,300 by substituting yogurt for mayonnaise. Yuck. Then five minutes later, some chef will be whipping up a lemon chiffon cream cheese pie.